Can I Borrow A Cup of Yours?

Drama that is. I desperately want to be one of those girls/people that blows tiny-little-insignificant things out of proportion to get what she wants.

The truth is, I'm just not. Heaven knows I could borrow an ounce or two from a number of my family members (names have been omitted because of said dramatics).

I have my moments when I get really mad and think of all these horrible things to say or do and remember all of the reasons why I should say or do them... and then my stupid-logical-level headed brain takes over and I can't be mad, I can't cry, I can't throw a fit.

I WANT TO THROW A FIT EVERY NOW AND AGAIN!

Why the dramatic day dreaming?

My personal theory is this: I think being over dramatic in the heat of the moment at least helps you release some emotions and energy. And even if you don't make any sense at all while you're screaming in a high pitch voice, you feel better when you're done because you have expressed yourself. Maybe not in the most effective way... but it's all out in the open. I know this, because I have had my fair share of dramatic moments. I mean what teenage girl didn't?

I've tried to gather my own dramatics, frankly I was quite good at it while on the pill, but now that I have control over my self, my thoughts, and my actions again it's almost impossible!!

I have even resorted to prepping myself for a fight. Thinking of all the things that I want to say and scream! Giving my tear ducts a pep talk so the tears can really work in my favor. And as soon as I open my mouth or have a confrontation... nothing.  Then, as I'm trying to think of the most horrible thing that could possibly ever happen (to hopefully induce the crying) I completely loose track of my list of things to scream!

And it's all down hill from there.

I'm sure J doesn't agree when I say I'm level headed and logical. But if he only knew the drama I wish I had in me sometimes!

So if you have any to spare... would you mind lending me a cup, I would even take a 1/2 cup, of drama?