I'm just sayin...

This is how I am feeling today:

I don't like being a grown up.

I don't like having a set schedule, an 8-5 with a 1/2 hour lunch in between, 5 days a week.

I don't like taxes.

I especially don't like it when I owe taxes.

I don't like that I haven't finished school and am currently on an indefinite hold until our finances allow me to work part time and still afford life.

I don't like that my house never stays clean for more than a few hours. (and I don't even have any kids, can you imagine when the muffins come, I will never invite anyone over to my house then.)

I feel like J and I work our arses off every day. Seriously- J usually works 10 hour days, sometimes more. I work the standard 8. And we still feel strapped, with not much to show for it.

I don't like that 2 seconds after feeling the relief and excitement that blessed Friday brings, I'm overwhelmed with all of the things that I have to squeeze in on Saturday.

I didn't like sitting in a stinky office at the Golden Spike Arena last night, waiting for a man with the pace of a turtle to give me a test to determine whether or not I'm smart enough to be a Census taker.

I don't really want to be a Census taker, but I'll do it for the hopes of having some extra cash to maybe take a little summer vacation.

I don't like that when I'm feeling like this, I can't get a DP, because I've already had 2 this week and I'm supposed to be quitting!!!!

I just don't really like this whole adult thing. I envy my 13 year old sister. That's sad.

When does it get better?

When do you have more time to spend with your hubby without feeling like your neglecting sixteen other things that need to be done?

I'm beginning to understand why my mom went crazy, ran away, and left 5 kids at home. (And I only write that knowing that the chance of her reading this is slim to none.)

I'm almost certain that I'm going to get comments that it doesn't get easier... so how do you cope?

I'm not one of those people that sees the glass half full.

I also envy those people.

My husband is awesome at lifting my spirits, but I don't want to rely on him for that all of the time. I think that is something very selfish to expect from a spouse. I just don't know how to do it on my own. I've thought about making a blessings journal to write down good things in my life... I haven't quite gotten there though because honestly it sounds a little hoaky (it's not in the dictionary and I don't know how to spell it) to me.

One thing I do like- is that by posting this I feel much better. It's taken me a long time to be okay with posting stuff like this... you know my true feelings. I have a hard enough time talking to my husband about my true feelings, let alone posting them on the world wide web. But what the hell! That's how I feel today.

Postscript: Maybe some of these feelings have to do with "the dot" mentioned in my previous post. Just maybe.

Post-Postscript: I want to be a professional blogger. I think that would be the best job in the whole wide world.